At a Stand Still....

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Two posts in April. Not very good Bruno. I will have to do much better this month. In my defense April saw me take quite a bit of advantage of the slow pace of work and do some travelling. Kat came up twice for a visit, and once we went to Tofo as I had mentioned, and this last time we hung around Maputo and then I took a long weekend in Johannesburg. It was fantastic, and I spent some amazing time with Kat. Combined with my apartment hunting it served to keep me quite busy in April.

Not sure what May will bring. I have moved into my new place. It is nice, not too small, not too big, clean, modern, and cheap. It needs some more furniture and stuff, and the good news is that most of the purchases I make for the apartment can be deducted from the rent. So I think I will wait mostly until Kat moves in in mid June before making any major changes. The one thing that I am hoping to get installed very quickly (today if I am lucky) is the Internet. As nice as it is to have ones own place, the lack of evening communications with people (especially those of you in Canada) is quite difficult as I currently only have access during the days at work. And while it continues to be painfully slow here, I can find the time to send emails and upload photos and the like. But what happens when it gets busier? Hmmmm, wont worry about that just yet.

The other benefit of having the Internet at home is having a good source of entertainment. There is no point in television, and reading has its limits when you come home from 8 hours of reading volumes of dry evaluation reports and financial audits. I like going out, but at the same time I am a person who does not like feeling the pressure to do so. The option of a quite night in is one that is often appealing for the soul, the mind, and the wallet.

After my last visit with Kat, and the subsequent hosting of her two visiting friends, I have run into a bit of rut. The move kept me busy this weekend, but I found that my motivation for going out is mostly out of a sense of necessity than entertainment. It has caused me to dwell a bit. After all, I have a good group of diverse people here, and have some recent fun hanging out with some locals. I think a large extent of it has to do with being away from Kat. Distance is distance. The difference is that the current distance is much more manageable. And ultimately as she says, I just got to keep my eye on the prize (she moves in mid next month). Still, I must admit that I like the person I am when she is around. Knowing you have a wonderful and amazing person waiting for you when you get home from what is currently a mind numbing work routine of nothing, is great motivation to keep getting up in the morning and getting through the day.

Sorry for venting out my frustrations, but the fact of the matter is that feeling accomplished at the end of the day, having something to show for the 8 hours that you sat at your desk, is something that is extremely important to me. That sense of satisfaction that tells me that I have filled my day with something meaningful, allows me to relax and the rest of the day comfortably. The current feeling when I come into work is that I am at a stand still. While those around me scurry around, and type away, I am often making my own research schedule, or reading the news to try to keep informed. It makes a significant difference when it comes to ones sense of self worth.

But as always, one has the option to get upset, or angry, or frustrate. Or the option to view this as a learning experience, a challenge, or a blessing that I have an opportunity to be exposed to this environment, learn to live on my own in a foreign and developing country, practice and further develop my language skills in Portuguese, and where possible try to make provide a positive input. After all, it has only just recently been two months since i have arrived. As always perhaps all that is needed is a little patience.

Hmmm, feels good to reflect in writing. Should do it more often....