Estamos Juntos

I would like to wish all of you the happiest holidays possible, with your friends, families and love ones.

I was hoping to put up another post detailing some more of my interesting work activities, as well as an interesting experience at the post-offices here trying to pick up my first package from abroad (thank Mom and Dad for the gift).

Unfortunately, it has been quite the rough week for my family. Last Friday I received news that my dear maternal grandmother had suffered a stroke and was in hospital back in Portugal. This of course shook my family hard, and my parents made plans to travel to Portugal to be by her side for the holidays. This meant that for the first time in our lives we would all be spending Christmas apart (parents in Portugal, my brothers together in Canada, and I here in Mozambique).

On Wednesday this week , shortly after my Mother arrived to be by her mother's side, my grandmother passed away. Needless to say we are all very broken by her passing, and being unable to be all together through these difficult times only adds to our sadness.

I cannot imagine the pain my sweet Mother must be going through and only wish i could be there to comfort her sorrow. I do not like feeling pity for myself, but I feel powerless and quite alone. Sometimes we are so caught up in living our own lives that we forget how every moment we are on this earth is so temporary, so precious. Just the weekend before her stroke I tried calling and received an international busy signal. I did not attempt to call back as I had made plans for dinner. I will be eternally regretful to have been so selfish. I had not made the effort to go back to see her in 6 years. Where does the time go?

To those who knew her, she was the sweetest old lady there was, who only had love in her heart for her family. We were everything to her, and she was so proud of us in everything we did. Not comprehending exactly what I was doing in Mozambique she took pride in thought that I was somehow saving the world (or at least it is how it felt when I talked to her). She was incredibly proud that I had embarked in a career that was focused on helping people. It pained her to be away from us for so long, and not see us during the holidays. We never appreciate the people who love us most in our lives until they are gone.

I had plans to get away for the holidays as I had mentioned. Unfortunately, they feel through just recently, and now I am facing the prospect of spending Christmas alone. I have not yet decided what I may do. There is a lot weighing on my mind right now (familial loss, the impending end of my time here, my future after Mozambique, and the future of my relationship).

I may just take off in my car and drive. No destinations, no plans, no expectations. For those of you who know me well, you know that this would be very uncharacteristic of me. Than again, I have been feeling much unlike myself lately. Perhaps it is the process of change and adaptation finally sinking in. Who knows?

One thing for sure. To any one who read this, and to all others, I wish you a all the best during the festive season. You will all be in my heart and thoughts.

As they say around here, "Estamos Juntos" - we are all together.